Monday August 17th =
Wake up late, get das weekly stipend hausen! Mine stipend!, Hit the SUU library to work on the face-book and the blogspot / email, call NiCold and proceed to get the shaft... FOR THE SECOND TIME EVER!, grocery shop, eat at Costa Vida (pay your weekly just due homage to the sanctified Smothered Pork Burrito!), clean room, Have other James introduce me to his beautiful wife Jana and 2 tough chiddren (“That James... He’s got ‘BOYS’ of steel!” (Spoken in a heavy British accent.)) = Anyone place where the rough- artfully and thematically enriched - quote is from?, call Nicold to ask her to allow me to buy her some Maggie Moo’s / be a Gentleman and a friend / get to know her better AT ALL / welcome her to the area / dispel whatever rumors that ‘Chode-Sniffany’ has been so lovingly spreading to her / JUST BE A FRIEND! / -I was unaware that was a crime punishable by emotional battery!-, have James help to fill the painful reminiscent chasm of a hole left in your chest by taking you to Maggie Moo’s so you can buy the best iced cream / Jones’ Sodas that I have ever had!, go directly with James to purchase 24 Jones’ sodas at Lynn’s Market(Which elevates my repertoire of tasted Jones’ flavors to 3... in 1 day! Cream Soda, Apple, and Blackberry... I have only 1 regret... That this is the first time I’ve even payed value and consequence to the notice of these bad-boys!), deliver sodas to Jana and das chiddren wit James, Sucka... spend about an hour there with the 5 of us just talking / laughing / getting to know one another / gulping down sodas, set a date for this coming Saturday to have me cook the cuisine and present it to ‘The whole fanDamnily’ (BY MY OWN REQUEST AND SUBMISSION... THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH D.S.P.D.!), Have Joseph - Joseph - Bo - Boseph - Fee - Fi - Fo - Foseph -... JOSEPH! Help me affix a new Glade Vanilla air freshener to my bedroom wall (Okay... YES dangitt... I did this to temporarily occupy my mind whilst I am engulfed in Nocturnal slumbers. You see, I’ve always dreamt of being ‘Vanilla Pies’) THIS current generation’s “Cheese-fest” - “Pasty White” - “Pseudo- Talented” - “Rapper and/or Lip-Synch” (People Please, just call me Eric Van Winkle... or perhaps Pearl-Squared... POWDERED PEARL!? ‘But please... DON’T call me Surely!’), Clear the waters between Sir Joseph and I about his betrothed companion... Rest assured, people; closure was gained!, receive knowledge that Joe acquiesced a set of golf clubs (He has never in his life been golfing yet, which WILL change soon! He is my Special Olympics Golf Partner. Lucky bastard!), stew about this whole Nicold thing and come to the conclusion that, if she denies me the privilege of treating her like a princess... She is questionably the one who is out more?, there are far more; FAR LESS F.U.B.A.R.E.D. women out there! (Besides, if Tyler was SO confident on the fact that I would despise her that he had to lie to me about her looks (along with virtually EVERYBODY ELSE in the office),,, I reiterate), LIE TO HIS FRIEND... I think that I very well might just let his bet for $100.00 blow off into the wind and simply ignore NiCold completely. I am seriously VERY hurt by himself and the way he dealt with this load of this crap., Now THAT is friendship!, LaDrillBitia gets back with her supposed ’fiancé‘; ‘Weather Vane’... VIRTUALLY FROM THE ARMS OF ME... HER CURRENT BOYFRIEND= WHOM SHE HAD QUITE LITERALLY PROPOSED TO NOT 2 HOURS EARLIER... she tries to pilfer the gift which you had brought over to her house to; ‘your girlfriend’ as soon as you tell her that, since she’s back with Weather Vane... Our lengthy romance has reached it’s end, Damn, I pray that you can all detect the filthy smudge of sadistic humor and use of painful sarcasm there!, kids... can you say; ‘embittered’?, ‘Cause Eric sure as Schniffens can!, Talk for a long time with Joe, pay homage to one of the Gods of weakness in your life... electronic devices, type in your journal, reflect and ponder upon your recovery.
On that note, this kind of thing, almost verbatim; occurred circa 8 years ago up North with somebody else. She shafted me and my brain became F.U.B.A.R.E.D. beyond belief. It caused a great deal of daznamage to occur, but My Pristine 19 years of existence on this realm was tight AS EVER and was able to weather me through ALL OF THE MANY countless storms to come! Jail, Hell... a.k.a. State Hospital, apartment fire, etc., etc., etc.! Did I even talk about torching ANYTHING whilst in the midst of this particular tragic scheme of events? That’s what I thought, so please remember that.
?Fall asleep thrice in your uber-relaxing/ rest-inducing leather computer chair while working on this journal entry.
Tues. August 18th =
James comes over to install Warcraft3 to your computer. And here was much rejoicing because of the fun which shall ensue. And Robin ate his minstrels! And there was much rejoicing. Yeah! Call your beloved Mother.
Saturday August 22nd =
Lunch with James Davidson, Jana Davidson, and ‘Los 2 Not So Lonely Boys’! Dig DEEP into my lines of heritage and cook them Chinese food. I Don’t know, perhaps this time I will do the dishes as well. Now THAT will be a virgin experience! (On a couple of different levels.)
Wednesday Sept. 2nd =
Journey up to Northern UT to spend the night at the parental units’ home. Attempt to get in touch with THE one and only Quinnstah P. Lavender to ideally coerce him into paying you a prompt visit afore your departure with the fan-damn-ly on the morrow!
Thursday Sept. 3rd =
Leave for Jackson’s Hole to celebrate all of those Americans who actually DO have jobs for the weekend with ‘da fam. I’m flat out positive that much fun will be had by ALL who involved. I simply pray that lil’ Avery doesn’t get too tipsy over the holiday, I mean... DANG little woman! You drink more every day than your own mass body weight! (it’s a good thing that you are not driving and that it IS BREAST MILK you are drinking. Seriously, some of the time it is so very difficult for me to remember the fact that you are only 1 year old! That makes it kind of hard for your feet to reach the pedals, doesn’t it? (Don’t worry my Dear... I relate! I am 30 yrs. Old and 6' 3"; yet it is still quite a challenge for my own feet to reach the pedals! We shall suffer together. The unity shall ease the pain!))
Monday Sept. 7th =
Head home to Cedar City from my weekend of fun and frivolity in WY. You know what they say... back to the old limp and grind!
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