Friday, July 31, 2009

Somethin' Tells Me I'm Into Something Good

Thursday, July 30th, 2009 =

I love my danged brain. Sigmund Freud would have had a heyday with me! From SO MANY close calls with Allie Corrine Shaw, to diggin’ graves, to being the Captain of the Track Team with a near photographic memory, to numerous girlfriends... some simultaneous, to being pulled over more than 15 times for speeding and having ONLY 3 tickets, to earning my Eagle Scout award at the age of twelve and receiving it with 3 palms at the age of 15, to getting a car for my 16th birthday, to going on yearly family vacations to Canada and around the Nation, to getting out of countless “un-excused” absences and truancies / tardies, to dying in a car wreck...
To coming back to life, to costing my parental units millions of dollars, to burning down my apt. complex, to being in the hospital for 5+ years, to kissing a distant second cousin at a family reunion, to my picture perfect meznemeory with movies and music, to the virtually impenetrable shunt and stomach of iron, to my CONSTANT recovery, It could easily be said that I’ve lived an interesting life. No?
I am proud of so very little of this, yet... in a paradoxical manner, I take deep pride in all of it! I feel immense remorse for any I’ve hurt or offended along the way, but I still maintain that I would not change it for the world. I have lived a life (INCLUDING ALL THINGS CONSIDERED); that many people would kill for the opportunity to have lived. Honestly.
I adore you, Mother Divine of mine! I thank you for ALL you have done for me.

Friday, July 31st, 2009=

This morning my buddy Nate did not want to get out of bed and get ready for the day. I was notified and bequeathed to assist, so I did. He was uber-pissed when I woke him up, so I said in a stern vocal tone; “NATE, who are you talking to?” He got pensive for a moment and then said with apprehension; “My Brother?” I concurred and said to come to the kitchen and I would have breakfast with him. He grabbed my hand and followed me to the kitchen. I made his food and mine, and took it to the table. We ate together and joked and laughed and by the end of the meal. He was smiling! Perhaps this is why I am his roommate? I seriously DO consider him to be a Brother and a friend… just like my own blood Brothers.
When it comes to stewed prunes… is 1 enough? Are 2 too many?
One of the many complexities of life,
Hugs and Kisses xoxoxoxoxo,
Eric “Brawny-man” Evans

Thursday, July 30, 2009

“Told me how you’re leavin’ me to some organ grinder’s lullaby!”

MAS DEL LIBRE DEL HOMBRE.
Erico Suave Eugene Evans

WEDNESDAY JULY 29th, 2009 =

Today has been a fair to meddlin’ sort of a day. The only downside has been something which; unfortunately, I have become quite accustomed to over the last 11+ years. I felt inordinately alone today. I NEVER EVER felt this alone before my car accident. But when I needed it just about the most, I got the best kind of gift that I could ever have been given; a call from my Mother of divinity! Just when I needed it most.
I would openly testify that my Mother Beautiful has some funkstah connection with my soul THAT I WOULD NOT TRADE FOR THE WORLD. I needn’t ever be reminded of this but regardless, I was this afternoon. I was just at the axis of good vs. crapstah mood, at which point the deciding catalyst occurred. I received a phone call from my best friend.
I am proud to say that, for thirty years now; my own Mother has been my nest friend. With VERY few intermittent and short lasting periods, we’ve always adored each other so much. It is so very hard NOT to love my Mother, let alone look up to her. My beloved Mother and my fortuitous Father are and always have been my greatest role models.
But please, do not get me wrong... I have not anywhere near always been the easiest child to raise. Yes, I’ve been; for the most part, very healthy. Yes, I’ve been; for the most part, very intellectual. Yes, I’ve been; for the most part, very happy. Yes, I’ve been; for the most part, very spiritual. Yes, I’ve been; for the most part, very active... BUT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN ONE WHO INSISTS ON BEING HIS OWN MAN! (Whether able to or not!) (Even before getting plowed by a truck!)
I have no doubt in my chubstah lil’ heart that my Mother was given to me, not the other way around. She would not be worthy of one bit of that! Again, don’t get me wrong, my Dad is THE MAN, but I am, always have been, and always will be a Momma’s boy. She has three of those and some beautiful little Gamma’s girls.
ANYWAYS... she called me purely because she felt that she needed to. AND SHE DID NEED TO. OR, I NEEDED HER TO! My own Mother is the epitome of the word “Beauty”. I am so lucky to be her and my Dad’s son, on so many levels.
She talked to me for 10 or 20 minutes and when I hung up the phone, I felt like a better man entirely! I made a malt-shake for “The Nathanator” and I and then I went on to have a Wii bowling tournament with Joe. He is a dang good friend. I appreciate all he puts up with and how he handles the highs and the lows of our friendship.
He is a person who, even though my family is hours away, is somebody I can always count on to lean on. I know he’ll never judge me or think less of me. That means a whole Hell of a lot to me. He reminds me a ton of a younger version of my elder Brother Lance.
Well, the candles are burning low and I’m pretty frickin’ tired, so I’m gonna hit the sack. I’m tired and I best be rested up for the morrow. You know, the life of a super-hero is hard. We’ll just leave it at that... for now!

‘Till later... buenas dias y bienvenidos. !Muchas gracias!

Eric Eugene Raging Stallion Evans

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

She Came Pushing 16 Horses

“The Ripple Effect”

“As James sat in his self-built cabin, waiting for his own existence to end,
He began to try and find even one single way; his soon to be over life to defend!
With every thought that went through his mind, he ignored the blaring T.V.!
He saw people having fun away in Samoa, and thought; why can’t that be me?
His home lay near the bottom of the rapidly and violently avalanching slope.
When the noise dramatically increased, he began losing all of his hope.
Who would have thought this would occur cause of something like a birds nest?
Let ALL other theories die and lie dormant; in their final, lasting, rest.

---The truth is THIS---

A bit before, high up the mountain’s slope; the nest fell off its resting place.
Making contact with the slope’s six feet of snow; it rippled the mountain’s face
A wave led to another; till’ any would have told that all Hell had broken loose.
If were a skier in the tourist town ¼ this would’ve really gotten your goose!
One menial little incident, that happens everywhere; any day of the year.
Created something that rumbled loud enough ¼ if not careful; could pop the ear.
Nest to snow, snow to rocks, rocks to trees, trees to cliffs, cliffs to town.
All bitter birds in ‘Bird World’ were looking to give the nest’s owner a crown!

---What can we learn from this?---

Do our own actions affect anyone but us?
No matter how much you argue, bitch, or fuss ¼
Most things you do; could cause many others to cuss.
Just think about all of the people that could be tied to you.
No matter of the time, nor whatever day, it’s certainly not a few!
It is never known where your good or bad actions will ripple to.
So next time you blow, consider to whom you connect.
Do you want them to feel the emotions you project?
We must always remember ‘The Ripple Effect’!”


Eric Eugene Evans 01/24/2007

She Came Pushing 16 Horses

“The Ripple Effect”

“As James sat in his self-built cabin, waiting for his own existence to end,
He began to try and find even one single way; his soon to be over life to defend!
With every thought that went through his mind, he ignored the blaring T.V.!
He saw people having fun away in Samoa, and thought; why can’t that be me?
His home lay near the bottom of the rapidly and violently avalanching slope.
When the noise dramatically increased, he began losing all of his hope.
Who would have thought this would occur cause of something like a birds nest?
Let ALL other theories die and lie dormant; in their final, lasting, rest.

---The truth is THIS---

A bit before, high up the mountain’s slope; the nest fell off its resting place.
Making contact with the slope’s six feet of snow; it rippled the mountain’s face
A wave led to another; till’ any would have told that all Hell had broken loose.
If were a skier in the tourist town ¼ this would’ve really gotten your goose!
One menial little incident, that happens everywhere; any day of the year.
Created something that rumbled loud enough ¼ if not careful; could pop the ear.
Nest to snow, snow to rocks, rocks to trees, trees to cliffs, cliffs to town.
All bitter birds in ‘Bird World’ were looking to give the nest’s owner a crown!

---What can we learn from this?---

Do our own actions affect anyone but us?
No matter how much you argue, bitch, or fuss ¼
Most things you do; could cause many others to cuss.
Just think about all of the people that could be tied to you.
No matter of the time, nor whatever day, it’s certainly not a few!
It is never known where your good or bad actions will ripple to.
So next time you blow, consider to whom you connect.
Do you want them to feel the emotions you project?
We must always remember ‘The Ripple Effect’!”


Eric Eugene Evans 01/24/2007

Strummin' My Pain With Her Fingers.

Well you guys, I am truly sorry about my sparce devotion to the blog as of late. I have been uber-busy. But I promise that I'll give it the tripple E. best to pick up the slack from here on out. In case you are wondering... here is the meaning behind "Triple E.". My initials are E.E.E. Also, fittingly; the three words which best describe me end with the E. sound. Here they are, drumroll please... #1.= Pasty, #2.= Chubby, #3.= Sexy! Well, I best be checkin' my e-mail, I promise to update again soon. Thanks,
Eric Evans

Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Way Up High...

LIBRE DEL HOMBRE... !Mio!
Erico Suave Eugene Evans

SUNDAY JULY 26, 2009 =
Today has been an exemplary day. It started out a’ lookin’ like the craps. I think that I had a crapstah dream last night. I didn’t sleep well at all. And things were not lookin’ any better when I got up at the usual butt-crack of dawn and golfed a mere mediocre round of 9 holes on Tiger Woods’ 2009 Wii golf. Needless to say, that upset me! After all, I AM a super-star, used to praise and applause where ere I go.
Anyways, I do digress! I proceeded to get up and prepare my break-a-fist. After which, I proceeded to sup upon that which I refer to as my scrambled Heaven... pork de soir! Upon my completion and re-entrance into this “Earthly” realm, I did my dishes and reentered my Den Of Iniquity!
I made a prompt decision on wether to attempt some much needed make-up sleep from the preceding night or to get up and go to church. I made a decision that I’m not too proud of at all, yet in a paradoxical kind of a way... I do not regret at all. I shut my door locked it up, and turned up my stereo of divinity! All elusive sleep was obtained. And there was much rejoicing. And Robin ate his Minstrels. And there was much rejoicing. Yeah!!!
I awakened and went out to talk to Mace about possible avenues for our agenda today. I suggested that we call a friend to see if they wanted to take a walk or something. They said that they would love too. My friend Amanda later told me that she had been attempting to get her friend Latisha to take a walk for the last hour. She’d objected. As soon as I asked, she agreed. I was not opposed to this lil’ tidbit o’ knowledge!
So we took about an hour long walk for a mile or ten! (You know; due to the massive head trauma, I lose count pretty easily!) It felt good to be out in the sun just a takin’ it easy and speakin’ with each other and my roommate who asked to tag along, and is THE MAN! You know, next to me, of course! David. He is uber-cool by way of being uber-chill and smooth. We get along better EVERY DAY! My roommate Nate D. to the O. to the double G. G. Stayed home.
Mace and I stopped my friends house to get the phone # for Latisha. He then took me to the gas station to get a beverage of my choice. I selected a mocha flavored chocolate ice thinger! And, damn folks... that was tasty somethin’ fierce. Just what the Doctor ordered. We then returned home for a rest. I called Madremio and filled the sequential slot of the Sabbath Day call to her. I adore my Mother.

In my opinion, I agree with the quote that Brandon Lee makes in the prime flick, The Crow. “‘Mother’ is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children.” I heavily concur. My Angel of a Maternal figure was sent from above to prepare for me and then use all of the skills that she learned in the preexistence to prepare me for the present. My Mom is a direct conduit used by God Himself to touch me and my life. I know that for a fact! Emotionally, Intellectually, Spiritually, Socially, Financially. All of these ways and every other way she has helped me.
Had she not married such a dang good guy, it’d be simple to say SHE was the sole reason that I’m alive. But thankfully, alas... ‘tis not so. She and my Father both took care of the intellectual slices o’ the pie! I can honestly say that my beloved Father took 100% of the physical reins. I watched him from the earliest days I can remember run the bloody fuschnickens out of his knees!
He has had both of his knees operated on to the point where running is the absolute LAST thing on his agenda. If he does, a massive amount of pain ensues. I FEEL HIS INNER PAIN HEAVILY AND TO AN “E”! There is absolutely nothing that I would not give to be able to run again! Which brings us to the next fantastic thing to occur!
I decided to try to enhance my day even further by contacting my friend Jessica. She is a female client in Cedar with Prater Willie Syndrome. I respect her so much because she actually handles this malady while still being able to have friends and maintain an acceptable degree of self-respect.
This disability would literally kill me. I love sugar and food in general far too much! She admits her weaknesses and honestly admits she is working on them. She sticks religiously to her diet, and is thin as a pretty lil’ twig! I have more sympathy for her than most people out there due to the fact that I just think it would be the suck to have her disability.
Honestly; if ever given the choice between the physical and emotional pain and struggle of my lot, and the emotional Hell of hers... I would choose my own. Mostly because SHE’S HAD HERS HER WHOLE LIFE! I’ve had mine for just over 1/3 of mine. I can bitch and moan until das cowsenhiemen (sp?!?) come home! By the by, don’t be too impressed, those are two words in German; yes. But, they are two of the less than 10 I even know! If those are the qualifications to being fully versed and lingual in a particular language, then I am seriously multi-lingual!
English, French, Spanish, German, Russian, Latin, Italian, Canadian aye ya Hose-head, and last but not least... British. Ya’ see, that last one was not easy because although I have direct British ancestry. I’m a blimey American Bloke. Senora Paulette Birdsall, you must know that los terminados dos lingueses estas los mas ‘difficulto’ apprendar. Mrs. Birdsall, I hope you know I’m kidding. Todo mi corazon es para ti. Muchas gracias para todo la amistad y la apprenda. Te amo Carinia. Sorry for the numerous mistakes folks. I have too much pride to pick up my Spanish / Ingles dictionary to translate or check my memory. So... there you go.
So I called Jessica and bequeathed that she and a staff visit my Den of Iniquity so as I could whip up a bit of a malt for them. She had me ask her staff, so I did. He said that they could come on down every two weeks or so, then he told me that they’d be there in 15! Well; spank me twice and call me Sally! When it dries up, it really evaporates. I have been waiting for quite some time for a day like this. Am I no longer sure of tomorrow’s suck?

SHE HAS PRATER WILLIE, PEOPLE! Please, don’t think that I’m voicing a complaint, it was simply an answer I never would have expected to get. That seriously gives me something to look forward to. I’ll see her cute little face every other Sunday! What a way to brighten up the week a bit more.
There is absolutely NOTHING that brings me more pleasure and satisfaction than when I can see the pre-accident Eric resurfacing and evolving into the man that I am today. My memory is 98 - 99% of the way back to where I am at peace with it; coming from zero and negative, sans the bit o’ chubby aspect of my appearance and that damned limp; my physical condition is 98 - 99% of the way back to where I am at peace with it; coming from zero and negative, except for that frickin’ nagging inability to attain a job; my professional life is 98 - 99% of the way back to where I am at peace with it; coming from zero and negative, except for the minor aspect of HAVING NEITHER A WIFE NOR ANY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE CHIDDREN for their Grandmother to lovingly coddle; my family life is 98 - 99% of the way back to where I am at peace with it; coming from zero and negative, sans the fact that I am virtually shunned by society and not allowed to prove myself worthy; my social life is 98 - 99% of the way back to where I am at peace with it; coming from zero and negative.
Please forgive me for going off on the bitching and moaning tangent. I am a skosh bitter about being kept off the train that my “Little”... YOUNGER (not little at all any more.) Brother seemingly became the Captain of. Mission served... well, college degree in accounting obtained... well, the Ford Mustang Cobra obtained... well, the beautiful wife brought down... well, and the cherubic little gem of a baby girl spawned... well. Damn... I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to think about that last one. Pardon me for a moment while I go and slap myself upside the head! Okay, I have chundered and whacked myself upside the head for a consequence to my asinine choices. I can now move on.
I believe fully in the power of music. ANYBODY who even knows of me most probably knows that. I sleep for circa 3 - 4 hours a night, music is my overall Savior for the rest of the time. I can play 6 songs on the piano with my eyes shut... from memory! I can name more than 2000 musicians simply by the name of the band or the sound of their voices, I can quote the lyrics to thousands of songs. Worthless crap man! Pshaw!
I’m not bragging, simply informing you all. As I began to type this excerpt, the first song to come on the Sony sound system on my computer with 10,037 DIFFERENT songs on it was; “The Boxer” by S & G. It’s words are so poignant with a meaning which I heavily embrace. Relative to my life... I AM THE BOXER!
“In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade, and he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him ‘till he cried out in his anger and his shame; ‘I am leaving... I am leaving!’ But the fighter still remains. Mmm!” - “The Boxer” Simon & Garfunkle.
‘Till later... buenas dias y bienvenidos. !Muchas gracias!

Eric Eugene Raging Stallion Evans

Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm Having A Jack Johnson Type Of A Day Today

In my State, it's a holiday today! The 24th of July. THE DAY MY STATE WAS DISCOVERED. Basically, I look at it like this, it's an excuse to nonchalantly set off large amounts of fireworks. I hold the month of July close to my heart. Two days in one month where I can legally become a pyrotechnics expert!

ANYWAYS. My Mom started her college schooling at BYU while my Dad served his mission in London, England. When He returned home, he went to the Y to further his education to become a teacher. He quickly met my Mother, and asked her to marry him. THEY ARE BOTH PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! In my life... I don't think I have ever seen them get in a fight. That's impressive, considering the fact that they've been married for about 300 years!
So they moved up to SLC to start a family. I have an older Sister, an older Brother, and a younger Brother (Who is more intelligent and successful than I am!). ALL of my siblings are, as was previously mentioned... "Married With Children"!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I'm... Too Sexy For My Shirt, So Sexy It Hurts...

Just know that, no matter what Right Said Fred says; I have never known / nor ever will know how to go disco dancing. That pleases me immensely! ANYWAYS;

Back to... "The Lives of Eric Pre-Death". Both of mis Padres were raised in extremely poor surroundings with rather large families. However, although the funds were extremely low, they were taught not just how to make it, but also the importance of Fraternal love and friendship and unity. These are all lessons which they made sure that they passed on to all 4 of their kids. They also inadvertantly instructed us through pure example.

Anywhoo, they were raised on farms each. My Mother in Southern UT. My Dad in Canada and Best Valley, UT. Although they were raised on meager funds, I'm sure that each has no regrets. It made my Mother an Angel and my Dad a Saint.

However, they are human! Every kid wants --- no matter how spoiled or discarded he is. Both of mis Padres learned beautifully how to replace monetary needs with family love and emotion.

"Eric... cease your engines. You are hungry Hose-Head! More shall continue later."
'Till then,
Eric Eugene Evans

My FIRST birth!

I was born in Btfl. UT. I have 3 siblings who are all currently Married with Children. However... none of their spouses are named Peg or Al, and I have no family members named Bud or Kelly! Oh yes... and my Dad has never a once sold shoes. If I was asked to supply one word to the world about both of my lives, it would be the word "Blessed". If you know me AT ALL, then you might think this to be quite paradoxical. I say this because I MYSELF thought so as well for quite some time. However, that ship has sailed. After a series of epiphanies and some massive growth, I have come to view life from an entirely different standpoint!
- "Love and marraige, love and marraige. Go together like a horse and carraige. This I tell ya' Brother. You can't have one without the other!"